I just wanted to comment on other peoples concerns and discuss how some have made me feel. I think that although this is a public blog it is also a place for me to write out my feelings and my concerns about this process. This meaning there may be some statements made here that people might not like, but this blog is so people know the truth about the donation process and sugar coating how things can make you feel, and how relationships can be affected would not be beneficial to me understanding how I feel or to anyone else who may stumble across this blog in the future who may be looking into living kidney donation.
First off when it comes to other peoples concerns I am willing to listen to all of them, this is a big decision and I would appreciate the opinions of the people that care about me. This being said I do wish people would think about what they are saying and how they are saying it before they talk to me. This is mostly because Wednesday night my dad called me to tell me he did not like my decision to donate at all. He was worried about the things I can not do with one kidney, and "other things". I just said okay to most of it knowing he probably hadn't done the research I have. The conversation ended with him basically not wishing me luck for my full day of testing. (I guess this sort of means he was wishing me to be unhealthy without realizing it?) The way he said everything also made me feel like he thought I was wrong, hadn't thought about it enough, and was just doing it for my boyfriend without thinking about what may or may not happen in the future. It really hurt. I was upset, stressed out, and anxious afterwards. It did not make me any less sure about my decision it just made me sad that someone I cared about disapproved of what I was doing so much without taking the time to have a real conversation with me about it, or look into it on his own. I respect his opinion and I know how my dad acts and I should have expected this. He does not like medical things and was a wreck when my mom was in the hospital 2 years ago. He also worries a lot, and so do I sometimes so his worrying to me does not help the situation. He did call me on Saturday though to tell me he didn't mean to upset me and he will support me even if he doesn't like it. This is a step to him truly accepting my choice and I appreciate that he is at least trying. I think my mom talked to him a bit after coming with me to my apt. and hearing me talk about how he approached the subject with me. But we will just have to wait and see how the future unfolds with this...
My mom as I said also is concerned about it but she trusts me and understands that I did not just spontaneously make this decision.
I also think most of my friends support me, or at least it seems that way so that is good.
Also the other general argument against me donating is that Dave and I are not related/family. This argument is kind of invalid because, as my friends and I discussed Saturday, friends are the family you choose. Dave and I are very close and I don't expect that to change. I think that if anything this will bring us closer because we will have all the time together after Dave is done with Dialysis and one less stress in our lives.
Okay so if you are reading this and have comments or concerns about it, I invite you to leave them in the comments so I can respond to them! This way everyone is learning together about everything!
First off when it comes to other peoples concerns I am willing to listen to all of them, this is a big decision and I would appreciate the opinions of the people that care about me. This being said I do wish people would think about what they are saying and how they are saying it before they talk to me. This is mostly because Wednesday night my dad called me to tell me he did not like my decision to donate at all. He was worried about the things I can not do with one kidney, and "other things". I just said okay to most of it knowing he probably hadn't done the research I have. The conversation ended with him basically not wishing me luck for my full day of testing. (I guess this sort of means he was wishing me to be unhealthy without realizing it?) The way he said everything also made me feel like he thought I was wrong, hadn't thought about it enough, and was just doing it for my boyfriend without thinking about what may or may not happen in the future. It really hurt. I was upset, stressed out, and anxious afterwards. It did not make me any less sure about my decision it just made me sad that someone I cared about disapproved of what I was doing so much without taking the time to have a real conversation with me about it, or look into it on his own. I respect his opinion and I know how my dad acts and I should have expected this. He does not like medical things and was a wreck when my mom was in the hospital 2 years ago. He also worries a lot, and so do I sometimes so his worrying to me does not help the situation. He did call me on Saturday though to tell me he didn't mean to upset me and he will support me even if he doesn't like it. This is a step to him truly accepting my choice and I appreciate that he is at least trying. I think my mom talked to him a bit after coming with me to my apt. and hearing me talk about how he approached the subject with me. But we will just have to wait and see how the future unfolds with this...
My mom as I said also is concerned about it but she trusts me and understands that I did not just spontaneously make this decision.
I also think most of my friends support me, or at least it seems that way so that is good.
Also the other general argument against me donating is that Dave and I are not related/family. This argument is kind of invalid because, as my friends and I discussed Saturday, friends are the family you choose. Dave and I are very close and I don't expect that to change. I think that if anything this will bring us closer because we will have all the time together after Dave is done with Dialysis and one less stress in our lives.
Okay so if you are reading this and have comments or concerns about it, I invite you to leave them in the comments so I can respond to them! This way everyone is learning together about everything!
No comments:
Post a Comment